Here are just a few:

• “People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.” -Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI.
• “I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.” -Noel Coward
• Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. –Ernest Hemingway
• Mike Hammer drinks beer because I can’t spell cognac. -Mickey Spillane
• The Pope doesn’t recognize the Protestants, Christians don’t recognize Islam, and Baptists don’t recognize each other in the liquor store. –Old Southern Saying
• Liquor before Beer, Never Fear. Beer before Liquor, Never Sicker. –Oft-ignored college saying
• I wasn’t drunk in Public. I was drunk in a bar. They THREW me into Public. –Ron White
• Spilling your beer is the worst form of alcohol abuse — Author unknown
• “And I thought to myself, ‘I haven’t had a Schlitz since the third grade!’”- Robert Earl Keen

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