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September 2010
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Archive for the Humour Category

New Motorcycle Turbo being tested…..or new wind powered engine exclusive!

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Spiritual Message

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John Deere

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Distractions

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Icy Carb Maintenance Tip

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More Xmas Fun….. Another Gift Idea

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More Xmas Fun….. Gift Ideas

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A little Xmas Fun

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Sorry, dear……..

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Lose weight

A heavyset guy sees an ad that reads ‘Lose weight. Only £10 a stone. Call 0800 555 0238’ and decides to make
the call.

The operator asks, ‘How much weight do you want to lose?’

‘A stone’, he replies.

‘We’ll have a representative over in he morning’, says the operator.

About nine the next morning, there’s knock on the door. There stands a fairly good-looking girl, completely
naked except for a sign around her neck reading ‘If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me’.

The hefty fellow chases her upstairs, downstairs and all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing, he catches her. After they have sex, he runs to the bathroom and weighs himself. He’s lost a stone!

That night he calls the number again and says, ‘I want to lose two stone’.

‘We’ll send someone over.’

The next morning, he’s greeted by a gorgeous girl dressed only in track shoes and wearing a sign around her
neck that reads ‘If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me’. The chase takes a good while longer this time, but later he
finds he’s lost two stone!

That night he calls and says, ‘I want to lose five stone!’

‘Five stone?’ the operator asks. ‘That’s an awful lot.’

The man replies, ‘Listen, just take care of it!’

About 7am the man hears a knock and opens the door. Outside stands an enormous gorilla with a sign around
its neck that reads ‘If I catch you …’